Some people's honesty comes across as cruelty to others.
Some people's attempts at kindness are felt as sugar coated lies.
How do we navigate this?
Clarity.
Identify what you want. Imagine yourself saying it. Then say it.
Remember, if it's important to you, it's important. When your interlocutors say it's not, repeat: it's important to you.
Open yourself to what other people say. If you don't understand, ask. When you're open to people, it's easier to be open with them.
Don't make excuses for yourself. Recognizing and acknowledging how you can be an asshole doesn't excuse you from decent manners.
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