Several years ago I described an unhappy situation to a friend, who went on at length giving untenable suggestions. Eventually I quietly told her to stop talking. Later I told another friend how I had nearly lost it, and described the interaction. She knew precisely what I meant.
Why is it that some people Oh So Easily read us, and others completely miss even our most obvious emotional brou-ha-has? I'm as guilty as the next person, of course. So, here's what interests me. What are the cues? What do we pick up or miss? Why this stuff and not others?
3 comments:
It's true that one of supply angry they really don't want solutions, they really want to vent and if they want to hear anything is that they're right.
But we are all fixers
Sorry, about the other post. I was still working on it.
I was thinking that, in the first instance you just wanted to vent, but somehow that didn't come across. So people being fixers by nature, your friend offered solutions. Bad idea, at least in this instance.
The second person was told that solutions for annoying, so they had more information. Of course they could relate, because we've all been in that situation where the last thing we needed to hear were solutions.
I have heard myself offering solutions to my mother, knowing how much I hate it when she does the same. Later, I just have to nod my head and say -idiot!
Well the instance was one where I didn't want a solution, true. But what interested me was that one friend picked up both that I wouldn't want a solution and that I was furious, while the other didn't see that at all.
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