Thursday, April 13, 2006

Disgust


I'm confronted again by my own stupidity.

I have utter contempt for the occasions on which I've used my intelligence to seduce -- just because I could. Or of course the occasions on which I've been predatory towards rather younger people.

I presume (often incorrectly) that if I refer to this other people pick up that I'm almost never unconscious of my bad behaviour, and that simply talking about it is yet another example of stinging self-contempt.

The most recent occasion? I was plastered. Yet some of how little I love this in myself may have registered. If not, how could - ?

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